The Home Project: Inspired by The Gnome Project

Time has a way of escaping from me that is quite perplexing.  But on this cold, leafless morning I find myself alone at home with my journal and the computer.  So I will share some of my thoughts over the past few weeks of The Home Project (see previous post).

October 26, 2015
The morning is crisp.  The sun promises to bring joy if not warmth.  The light sets the brilliant colors of autumn trees on fire.  Fall has always been my favorite season.  It's bittersweet in a way that I can't quite explain.  It is a time of transition from the aliveness of summer into the starkness of winter, yet this in between season offers so much beauty.

One week into The Home Project and I already feel bored, sick of it, like it's a chore.  But is this feeling about the houses or about something else?  What other areas of my life bring up these emotions? The impulse is to quit and rationalize the decision.  A house a day has become a house every two days. The one I made today was brown and mustard yellow, so ugly that I threw it away. What other pieces of my days or myself do I find ugly and wish I could throw away? Dirty dishes beg for my attention, an excuse that also stirs up guilt. I know there is a lesson here that is being presented and instead of quitting, I'll try to remain curious about this process and keep going.

November 5, 2015
Since we moved, I have been living in the present instead of always striving, working towards something, or leaning into a better future that never arrives. It feels like a speeding train that has come to a sudden stop because the tracks have disappeared.  I am completely out of my comfort zone.  What do I do now? I've never lived in the present moment before.  How do I do this?

 The structure of a schedule seems to have helped because it tells me what to do with myself.  The act of having made room in my days for studio time has had a huge impact.  I have put down the houses temporarily in favor of finishing up several projects:  making a bunting for my daughter's bedroom, painting her wagon that I built for her birthday a month ago, sewing curtains for empty windows. These things are still part of my Home Project because they help make this rented farmhouse into a home, and they help make the present moment less uncomfortable to occupy.

November 17, 2015
As I type the words above, clarity has moved some of the fog out of my brain (and heart).  My lifelong fascination with homes has not so much been about creating a nest for my outward life to have a place to rest so much as it has been about creating a space within the interior of my self for my soul to rest.  A restless anxiety has been searching for a place to cease the internal storm and allow healing to take place.  And that place is the present moment.

Art is indeed powerful.

Book Review: The Gnome Project

www.TheMoonGoat.com

Note: This post contains affiliate links.

"I've always felt that creating art is, in and of itself, transformative, but I have discovered that when you endeavor to make art every day, you add to the power of that transformation.  What this means is that no matter what happened in that day--whether you had a headache or received a bouquet of flowers--you sat down and practiced one thing in the midst of that space in your life.  One thing held true like a golden thread weaving your days together, giving you a bit of predictability through the chaos of the human experience."    Jessica Peill-Meininghaus, from The Gnome Project: One Woman's Wild and Woolly Adventure

 I immediately felt a connection to this woman and her words.  Being a creative arts therapist, I am familiar with the transformative power of art, and I have craved time to be able to sit down in my studio and create.  This little book about Jessica and her gnomes inspired me to make major changes in my daily life, changes that were much needed.  Feeling unfocused and like I was just floating through my days, I would wake up and do as much as I could as fast as I could before going to bed exhausted without really accomplishing anything I had set out to do that day.  I read Jessica's book in one sitting, and then got out some paper and a pen to see how I could arrange my day to be more satisfying and joyful.

My days now begin at dawn, when I can have quiet time to myself before everyone else wakes up.  I have set aside time with my daughter so that I can be present with her instead of obsessing about all the things I need to do (she can sense my distraction).  There is a time for chores, and a time for play, time for being outside, and a time for cooking nourishing meals.  And, most importantly, there is studio time at the end of each day, a time when I can engage in much needed creative art-making.  Inspired by The Gnome Project, I have started The Home Project.  Each day I create a plush little house by hand.  This routine has provided the grounding that I needed to be able to live the life I imagined for so many years.  Maddie even asks for studio time, and we create side by side at the art table.

When I thought about making gnomes every day, I knew that wasn't the project for me.  I'd have to learn a new skill, invest in new supplies, and cope with failure until I could complete a needle felted gnome that actually looked like more than a blob of wool.  So my criteria included making something I knew I could do and would be fun, that would offer enough variety that I would not get bored, something I could do with materials I already have on hand, and a project that would be quick enough to provide daily immediate gratification.  Little felt and fabric houses: perfect.  I have always been attracted to little houses, whether the mushroom villages of The Smurfs from my childhood, or dreaming of buying an old house and turning it into a home.  So far I have stuck with my new schedule for 7 days and I have 7 little homes in my basket.  And most importantly, I have made room in my life for me.